The workplace - still a man's world?

I have chosen to write my thesis for my Graduate Diploma of Workplace Health & Safety on how sexual assault both within and outside of the workplace affects women workers.  There is a dearth of literature from Australian sources on this, but it stands to reason that, if the UN stats show 1 in 5 women will be raped within her lifetime and working women spend a third of their day in the workplace, some of those assaults will happen at work, at a work-related event, or with a co-worker as the perpetrator.

According to Andrew Stevenson, writing last year in the Sydney Morning Herald, "... most victims of harassment are female, as are 85 per cent of sexual assault victims."  That statistic is totally unacceptable, and, in the context of the Workplace Health and Safety legislation, must be addressed as a very real issue concerning the provision of a safe workplace for women.

Two Australian reports by the Australian Human Right Commission - the 2008 "Sexual Harassmant: Serious Business Results" national telephone survey and the 2012 "Working Without Fear" national telephone survey showed that sexual harassment is alive and well and thriving in many Australian workplaces.  According to the 2012 survey "Just over one in five (21%) people in Australia has been sexually harassed since the age of 15, based on the legal definition of sexual harassment, a slight increase since 2008 (20%). A majority (68%) of those people were harassed in the workplace."  

From these surveys it is reasonable to conclude that employers are not doing a very good job to date of providing harassment-free workplaces for their female workers.  In addition, many employers have no form of EAP (Employee Assistance Program) which would help female workers who have suffered sexual abuse either in the workplace or in a home situation which might affect their ability to work to their full capability.  It is astonishing that a employer would allow nearly 14% of their workforce (68% of 20%) to be potentially functioning under capacity simply because the employer has failed to provide a safe workplace in an area of identified risk.

Part of the problem, as inadvertently identified by the AHRC, is that sexual assault and sex discrimination within the workplace is not seen as a WHS issue, but rather as a human rights issue.  While human rights, including the right to work free from sexual discrimination and harassment, are enshrined in human rights laws, those laws have far less import to a business that workplace health and safety laws.  For that reason, sexual discrimination and sexual assalut within the workplace must be seen as workplace health and safety issues, not simply human rights issues, and should be accorded the same importance as workplace injuries sustained by identified hazards and risks.

An astute WHS adviser in a mixed-gender workplace would be doing their employer a huge favour if they managed sexual discrimination and harassment as part of the WHS process instead of passing the buck to a designated (but often unwilling) workplace Contact Officer.

How many readers know who their WHS person is?  And how many of you know who your Contact Officer is?  I venture to suggest most would know the first person but not many would be aware of the second.         

   

Whose culture have you changed today?

Through counselling I have identified a major flaw in myself.  I have always valued myself based on my attraction to men.  It's what got me into trouble when I was 17, it was the cause of heartache when my relationships after that faltered because I was too clingy, it was the reason I attached myself to a loser in my first marriage. After I finally grew the intestinal fortitude to walk away from the emotional and financial abuse which cost me so dearly in that relationship, I spent more than a decade not wanting or needing a man to complete me - and I was happy.

Then somewhere along the line my heart once again overruled my head and "love" appeared again on my radar.  I met and married my second husband, believing truly that he was my soul mate and we would live happily ever after.  I should have known that happy endings really only happen in fairy stories.

I am once again a single white female, on my own in a big scary world.  The difference this time is that I can understand my own limitations, and I have support from a wonderful group of women.  Some of these I met more than a decade ago, when I was first finding my social feet after years of being a dedicated solo parent.  I have never made friends particularly easily so the women I met and befriended back then and who have kept in regular contact are very special to me.  No less special are the women I have met since my second marriage breakup and my "coming out" from my deep, dark rape closet.  

Laura, who believed in me and encouraged me to move forward. Michelle, who helps me work through the bad stuff in my head.  Taylor, who accepts me for me and listens to my problems even though she has some pretty huge ones of her own.  The wonderful women I have met through OBR and TVM, and will continue to meet through other women's groups.

So I get really angry when I read daily of a culture which undermines and marginalises women, insinuates that women have less value than men, allows abuse to happen almost unchecked and worse, in so many cases, unpunished.  I think of how I would feel if anything like that happened to any of the women I love, and then I think that it makes no difference whether it is someone I love or a woman on the other side of the world that I will never know.  This culture is not geo-fenced in India or Muslim countries or Western religious sects or cults.  It's a daily part of life in every country in every continent globally.  It is insidious and patronising and demeaning.  

Most Western countries have anti-discrimination laws and harassment laws which are supposed to "protect" women from gender bias and place us on an equal footing with men, but the very existence of these laws means we haven't yet gotten there.  The language of these laws may be gender-neutral, but ask most men, especially in blue collar occupations, what they believe is the purpose of harassment policies and their response may have more to do with the nude calendar they used to have on the smoko room wall than gender equality.  Yes, that is a generalisation - but it is based on the language of a male-dominant culture that hasn't changed much in decades.

Take swearing, for instance.  In a male dominated industry such as transport, coarse language is a given, yet these men who swear happily amongst themselves will apologise if they happen to swear in front of a woman.  They don't see anything wrong with the apology, they believe they are being polite and using their manners - they certainly don't understand that by only apologising to women they are marginalising women and bolstering their own belief that women are "different", not as tough as men.  It would never occur to them that they should change their language. To everyone. Full stop.

So now I don't pull them up on their bad language, I pull them up on their apologies.  

And so it is with every little thing that is made to stand out as a difference between men and women.  Personally, I believe that the only real difference between the sexes is the biological function of procreation.  Nothing else matters.  Men in general may be stronger of muscle than women, but there are many very strong women.  Women in general may be more empathetic than men, but I know some very caring, nurturing men.  Generalisations cause so many problems, and lead time and again to the stereotyping of women based on a cultural belief of their "place" within a society.  

As wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, girlfriends, women are ideally placed to change these beliefs and disable the generalisations.  Change will not become immediately evident, because immediate change or contrition must be suspect.  Change takes time, but it's worth it in the long term.  

Imagine a society where equality is no longer a dream but is an every day reality.  Do something every day to change someone elses' gender-based cultural beliefs and eventually that dream can become a reality.

But it's up to all of us.
 

 

Who am I?

It's often hard to write when I am feeling low, even though I know that writing will help me to feel better.  Getting started is the hardest part.  I am often lacking in motivation when I am at home due to having to share my space with someone who doesn't want to be any part of me.  I am happiest when I am out, preferably dancing, but anywhere there is music and activity works.  

I love the library and the museum, but so often quiet contemplation turns into angst and tears.  Walking is always good.  It's a source of frustration that my personal trainer has had quite a lot of time off lately because I count on him too much to get my own motivation for exercise.  Time I kicked my own arse and got out there!

While I have been - and probably always will be - dealing with my own demons, both from my rape and from two failed marriages and an often pervasive feeling of general failure, I am reminded often of the pain that others are sentenced to through the actions of others.  For many months I have followed the story of a woman, Lori, in the USA who was brutally attacked by her partner and still, more than 2 years later, faces further surgery and daily pain.  Lori is an amazing woman, wishing to use her pain to help make sure others never have to face the same thing.

I want to reach out to others who have been in my situation.  That's the reason for this blog and my website.  Every minute of every day women the world over face rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence, emotional and physical torture, for no other reason than they are women and the men who perpetrate these acts feel - or want to feel - superior.  There is no justification.  There are no excuses or reasons.

This year is my watershed year.  I have come out of my own dark little closet and become active.  Small actions so far, but they will continue to grow.  I am fighting back.

Even when it gets too hard, even when my motivation dries up, even when the nightmares overwhelm me again, even with failed relationships behind me, I know I can make a difference to someone, somewhere.  I will fight my demons, I will fight my own sense of failure, I will turn myself around.

So that's who I am.

Someone else’s life

Luisa © 2013

I’ve been someone else all my life

Mother, daughter, sister, wife

Never had my own ID

Never knew just who was me

Came close sometimes, but not quite there

No courage to seek out my fair share

Held back, held down, tormented soul

Hidden within my own black hole

Pile on the kindling, light the flame

I’ve only got myself to blame

Is there no reprieve from victimhood?

I know I must but don’t think I could

Clouds in my head, tears in my eyes

Always smart but never wise

Why am I the invisible one?

Who gets it all while I get none?

I am a person, just like you

I’m worthy of a fair review

Don’t ignore me, I’m right here

I’m not going to disappear

I’ve been yours, I’ve played your game

Now it’s time to find my fame